LOST - NOTHING. STRAYED FROM NOWHERE. NO REWARD.
Everything happens so often, that speaking of it makes no sense
And what is it to be young in years and suddenly wakened to the anguish, the urgency of life?
Six Recognitions of the Lord
I lounge on the grass, that’s all. So
simple. Then I lie back until I am
inside the cloud that is just above me
but very high, and shaped like a fish.
Or, perhaps not. Then I enter the place
of not-thinking, not-remembering, not-
wanting. When the blue jay cries out his
riddle, in his carping voice, I return.
But I go back, the threshold is always
near. Over and back, over and back. Then
I rise. Maybe I rub my face as though I
have been asleep. But I have not been
asleep. I have been, as I say, inside
the cloud, or, perhaps, the lily floating
on the water. Then I go back to town,
to my own house, my own life, which has
now become brighter and simpler, some-
where I have never been before.
—Mary Oliver, from her collection Thirst.
True myth may serve for thousands of years as an inexhaustible source of intellectual speculation, religious joy, ethical inquiry, and artistic renewal. The real mystery is not destroyed by reason. The fake one is. You look at it and it vanishes. You look at the Blond Hero — really look — and he turns into a gerbil. But you look at Apollo, and he looks back at you. The poet Rilke looked at a statue of Apollo about fifty years ago, and Apollo spoke to him. “You must change your life,” he said. When true myth rises into consciousness, that is always its message. You must change your life.
Even the most desperate theology does not shed easily, and having just turned thirty, the age of my mother’s death, I still find myself often trying to unravel religion from reality. A co-worker unexpectedly asks if I believe in the Apocalypse, and after so many years, I can’t think of what to say. Religion is a language I no longer know how to speak; all of my creeds run backwards like a river trying to return to its source. I do not believe that my mother was saved by death. I do not believe there are sinners burning alive at the center of the earth. I do not believe this world is not my home. Sometimes I try to imagine what Heaven might be if not simply a place to escape to. I have so recently begun to know the earth, to feel its rhythms in my bloodstream; I can’t help but hope that Heaven is not elsewhere. I want more time to learn how to love these landscapes that have held me. My soul has been too small and the sky is still growing.
―Renée Thorne: ESCAPE FROM HELL: Growing up in fire and brimstone from the new summer issue of Parabola: Heaven and Hell.
Photograph: Girls exploring rock pools - Cameron Bay by State Library of Victoria Collections, 1909
Poetry is sane because it floats so easily in an infinite sea; reason seeks to cross the infinite sea, and so make it finite. The result is mental exhaustion…To accept everything is an exercise, to understand everything a strain. The poet only desires exaltation and expansion, a world to stretch himself in. The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.
Because it thinks by music and image, by story and passion and voice, poetry can do what other forms of thinking cannot: approximate the actual flavor of life, in which subjective and objective become one, in which conceptual mind and the inexpressible presence of things become one.
When I Met My Muse
I glanced at her and took my glasses
off - they were still singing. They buzzed
like a locust on the coffee table and then
ceased. Her voice belled forth, and the
sunlight bent. I felt the ceiling arch, and
knew that nails up there took a new grip
on whatever they touched. “I am your own
way of looking at things,” she said. “When
you allow me to live with you, every
glance at the world around you will be
a sort of salvation.” And I took her hand.
“To have imagination and taste, to love the best, to be carried by the contemplation of nature to a vivid faith in the ideal, all this is more, a great deal more, than any science can hope to be. The poets and philosophers who express this aesthetic experience and stimulate the same function in us by their example, do a greater service to mankind and deserve higher honor than the discoveries of historical truths.”
I built for you a wagon, holding
a cherub for your entertainment.
It is for you, go ahead, do with it
what you want.
"What would I do with a cherub?
Why would I want such a thing?”
Well you see all angels normally
explode overhead before we ever
get a chance to really examine them
and check them out. So I was
thinking it would be really nice
to have this cherub here so you
could actually give it a go and
actually see one of these angels
up close and personal.
As you touch the cherub, it disintegrates
into a black slime of nothingness,
it sticks to your fingers, and unsure of
what is really the best thing to do when
you suddenly have slime of disintegrated
angel stuck on your fingers, you wipe
your hands on the side of your pants.
No no no! I cry. It seems ugly, nasty
thing, yes, but you must take it and
put it directly into your eyes! Don’t
waste it! Even the slime of a disintegrated
angel is more angel than most people
get to touch. Put it in your eyes!
Do it! Angel runs through everything
in your mind, all memory, feeling, desire
expectation, all images, all potential,
Angel pops out the back of your head
screeching like dynamite, trailing
stars and all of your old dreams.
Celebration … is self-restraint, is attentiveness, is questioning, is meditating, is awaiting, is the step over into the more wakeful glimpse of the wonder — the wonder that a world is worlding around us at all, that there are beings rather than nothing, that things are and we ourselves are in their midst, that we ourselves are and yet barely know who we are, and barely know that we do not know this.
Each day, our porous skin opens less and less to fresh air, sunlight, the touch of others, the smell of pine, rain, compost, and manure … and instead we find ourselves hunched over machines in the standard posture of reverence, bowing our heads to the humming and warm computer-pets that rest on our laps or in our palms.